


Ineffable Husbands Ficlets

by mokiwrites



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Ineffable husbands - Fandom
Genre: 6000 year old virgins, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blood, Captivity, Cat Dads, Demon!Aziraphale, Fem!Crowley, First Kiss, Historical Shenanigans, Hojojutsu, Hurt/Comfort, Manhandling, Multi, Other, Phantom pain, Possessive Crowley, Raphael!Crowley, Roleswap, ace husbands, angel!Crowley, aziraphale as crowley, carved marks, collared and chained, demonic form crowley, shaking and shivering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 07:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20078668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mokiwrites/pseuds/mokiwrites
Summary: Just as the title reads! Very small ficlets (5 sentences or less, to be precise!) from tumblr based on bingo prompts from both Bad Things Happen bingo and Ineffable Husbands bingo!





	Ineffable Husbands Ficlets

> _mattheweverwood asked:_
> 
> _Phantom pain? Oh, maybe something to do with Crowley's wings with it? Though of course, do whatever inspo brings u_

**\----**

“Oh,” Aziraphale said quietly, the sound almost involuntarily leaving his mouth as his gaze landed on what—or whom—he had been searching for.

The bottle of Cheval Blanc was left abandoned on the desk in the lonesome room in favor of rushing through the partially opened doorway where the luxurious plants trembled not in fear, but concern.

Crowley sat amongst them on the floor, naked as the day he was created, scarred back pressed against a cold wall, and tears streaming from unblinking eyes. 

“They _hurt_,” Crowley’s voice cracked.

“I know, my dear,” Aziraphale whispered as he knelt beside the demon and pulled him into gentle arms.

* * *

> _anonymous asked:_
> 
> _raphael!crowley + shaking and shivering? thanks!_

**\----**

Cold was a new sensation, one they didn’t much care for. It was better than the pain of boiling sulphur, at least. Together though, pain and cold, was absolute misery.

Their newly shaped body shook, teeth chattered even through a clenched jaw, but the former angel continued down the dark, chilly corridors of their new kingdom. Lucifer waited on the other side, and Raphael had some questions.

* * *

> _anonymous asked:_
> 
> _captivity + aziraphale?_

**\----**

**1549**

It was _supposed_ to be a quick and easy missionary trip with Saint Francis Xavier, but since arriving to the island nation—_Giapon_ as it was called back home in England—it had most certainly not been quick and definitely not easy.

Aziraphale wasn’t even sure how it happened, but he had managed to get separated from Xavier and the rest of the Jesuits and promptly found himself in very unfamiliar and very hostile company. At least they had, apparently, found some value in keeping him alive; the world was quite busy and he hadn’t the time for discorporation paperwork.

He couldn’t quite hide the way his face flushed as Crowley finished a rather loud argument with his captor and came sauntering over to where Aziraphale knelt, bound in a most revealing manner by strong, biting ropes.

“I can’t _wait_ to hear you explain this one, Angel,” Crowley said with a smirk, taking his time to _really _appreciate the sight before him.

* * *

> _maxer-blaster asked:_
> 
> _Hurt/comfort with Aziraphale needing the comforting?_

** _\----_ **

It wouldn’t come off, no matter how hard he scrubbed; his hands were still red-red-red. Still, he scrubbed and scrubbed _and scrubbed_ beneath the cold water until another hand—thinner and longer—came to rest over them.

Red-rimmed eyes full of heavy tears raised to a solemn face for once not obstructed by dark glasses.

“I-I couldn’t… couldn’t save them all. I tried. I tried I tried _I tried I—_”

Crowley shushed him gently, pulled him in against her chest, held him as he shook with violent sobs, and tried her best not to focus on the casualties of war around them.

* * *

> _anonymous asked:_
> 
> _What fabulous prompts! How about a combination of collared and chained and hurt/comfort for a real classic combo?_

**\----**

Aziraphale’s knees hit the grimy floor, causing the heavy chains connected to a collar and manacles to rattle and the infernal iron to burn even deeper into already raw and weeping flesh.

Pain hardly registered in comparison to his awe at the pure unholy fury that had been unleashed by the colossal winged serpent whose tail started to coil around him with the delicacy of handling fragile glass.

With a hiss, the bindings shattered into ash and Aziraphale gasped as cool air brushed over open wounds dripping in gold. He blinked and arms had replaced scales; where there had been a monstrous serpent now stood Crowley.

The Lord of Flies, surrounded by the corpses and celestial remains of hundreds, watched with a blank expression of shock as Crowley swept the angel into his arms, planted a kiss upon his head, and _walked away._

* * *

> _anonymous asked:_
> 
> _Oh, this is terribly greedy, but I am the collared/chained anon and it was SO WONDERFUL, would you consider a tiny tiny sequel? I cannot stop thinking about it holy shit_

**\----**

“Crowley,” Aziraphale finally spoke, head nestled into the crook of the demon’s neck. “What.. what happened back there?”

There was a hard swallow, then Aziraphale was disconnected from him as he was tenderly set down into the passenger seat of the Bentley.

“Unleashed a bit of Hell,” Crowley replied with a half-hearted smirk. Crouching to an equal level, he lifted Aziraphale’s wrists and breathed the burns away.

“But how did y—” A blush spread across Aziraphale’s face when he felt hot breath against his neck, only made worse when lips pressed to healed skin. Crowley hissed quiet laughter at the way the Angel turtled his neck and bumped him away from it with a shoulder.

* * *

> _anonymous asked:_
> 
> _Attempted rape + Hurt/comfort?_

**\----**

Bruises and scratches could be healed easily, with no more than a mere thought or snap of the fingers. That fact did nothing to quell the fury rising in the pit of Crowley’s very essence when she saw them littered all over the pale arms and thighs of one shaking, terrified angel.

Crowley draped the night sky trapped in wings around Aziraphale’s nakedness, ready to dare God Herself to try and pry them open and take him away.

“I blinded them... I—there were _so many_ and they just kept grabbing and_ touching _and–and they _wouldn’t listen_ and I _blinded_ them,” Aziraphale clutched black feathers, pulled them tighter around him.

Together, they watched as Heaven rained down fire and brimstone on Gomorrah and a small part of Crowley thought that, for once, they deserved it.

* * *

> _anonymous asked:_
> 
> _Can you do aziraphale-as-crowley watering the plants?_

**\----**

“Lovely, absolutely lovely!” Aziraphale’s voice cooed from Crowley’s mouth as he stood in the center of the room, surrounded by a wide variety of plants.

Their trembling ceased and, if plants could be confused, they certainly were just then.

Leaves were misted and stroked lovingly, words of praise and admiration rained down like a welcome midsummer shower. Shy, uncertain buds slowly unfurled and blossomed while the angel wearing a demon’s face hummed his happy approval.

“He has a funny way of showing his love, doesn’t he?” Waxy leaves were given another spray while a cheeky smile spread on a face that didn’t belong to him.

* * *

> _pixelated-pineapple asked:_
> 
> _Roleswap, either Holy Water or "I thought I lost you"?_

**\----**

Crowley stared at the still steaming puddle of demonic remains, slender hand covering her slack mouth and knees feeling like they would give out at any moment.

The phone was ringing, but she could barely pay it any mind. At least, that was, not until Aziraphale came leaping right out of the damn thing just before his answering machine picked up.

“Hah! What a bloody idio—oof!” A slim body tackled him to the floor, long arms squeezing around him.

“Don’t ever scare me like that! I thought I’d lost you!” Crowley squeezed impossibly harder and Aziraphale just sighed and smiled softly.

* * *

> _gemstone-wings asked:_
> 
> _dad au_

**\----**

“Well, I suppose it’s time we name her,” Aziraphale looked up at Crowley, the angel’s face full of tenderness and love.

“Mammon,” Crowley suggested with a mischevious grin, earning an indignant gasp from Aziraphale.

“She isn’t greedy or gluttonous! She’s an infant!” Lips pressed to the top of a tiny head. Bright yellow eyes squinted and a purr started, steady and content.

Crowley crossed his arms and glared at the charcoal gray kitten cuddled in Aziraphale’s arms, perhaps just a touch jealous. “_All _cats are greedy and gluttonous.”

* * *

> _anonymous asked:_
> 
> _Wot if.... they’re both 6000 year old virgins_

**\----**

Crowley watched the computer screen intently, brows drawn together, lips pressed tight and frowning just slightly.

Aziraphale pored over yet another book, his expression much the same.

“You know, dear… I have seen humans do this many times but reading about it, I just don’t…” Aziraphale trailed off, unsure of how, exactly, to explain it.

Crowley grimaced. “Get it? Yeah, me neither.” He closed what he was watching and spun around in his chair. “Don’t see how shoving something into a hole can feel good. And how would we go about deciding who puts what in whose hole? Flip a coin? Roll dice? Too complicated.”

The book was snapped shut and Aziraphale set it aside on the sofa cushion with a sigh. “Too complicated,” he agreed.

* * *

> _snake-in-the-bookshop asked:_

> _body worship from ineffablehusbandsbingo, and carved mark from bad things happen bingo! same or different, up to you_

**\----**

Aziraphale gasped in held breath, panted raggedly with knuckles white as fingers curled against the edge of the counter and the smell of singed flesh greeted his nose. Crowley snatched his hand away and extinguished the infernal flame from a finger with a shake and admired his sigil with a pleased grin.

Leaning forward, he pressed lips over the angel’s shoulder, his neck, across the newly marked shoulder blade while spidery fingers roamed a soft chest and stomach; each kiss and touch draining the pain away.

Kisses slithered back up Aziraphale’s neck and landed on his ear. “Mine,” His low hiss caused a shudder to course through the angel as he glanced up into the mirror and met Crowley’s bright, possessive gaze through the glass.

“Yours,” Aziraphale rasped and pressed the sigil carved and burned into his flesh into Crowley’s chest, a lovely ache blooming from it. “All yours.”

* * *

> _Anonymous asked:_

> _Bloody nose and first kiss _

**\----**

Satan vanished back to the depths of Hell as reality bent to Adam’s will and Armageddon, at long last, stopped.

The Principality’s sword clattered to the pavement and in one swift movement, Aziraphale grabbed Crowley by the lapels of his jacket and smashed their lips together, far too overjoyed to even stop and consider the fact the demon had blood still fresh on his lips. The strain of such a massive miracle to stop time on an even more colossal scale took a toll on a physical body and blood dripped freely from his nose and ears.

Crowley froze in place for what felt like a good 6000 years before he finally, hesitantly, cautiously returned the kiss with a quiet noise in the back of his throat.

And perhaps, just maybe, the Antichrist smiled and whispered at reality to avert its gaze from them if only for a few moments.

* * *

> _anonymous asked:_
> 
> _Civil war in heaven + manhandling and/or captivity?_

**\----**

Raphael was shoved down onto his knees harshly and thought that maybe for the first time they were experiencing pain; knees were too bony against Heaven’s floor, wings bound too tight, bruises and celestial blood dripping from new wounds.

Gabriel’s gaze was too intense to meet, too full of righteous fury and rage and hurt. His light was blinding, even for eyes meant to see it. Sandalphon shoved them forward with a sharp foot to their back and Raphael barely managed to stop their face from colliding with the floor, crawling forward on hands and knees.

“If a deceitful snake is what you choose to be like,” Gabriel’s voice shook with terrible anger. “Then a snake you shall be.”


End file.
